In Thailand, there are some pretty strict traditional gender roles. Men and boys do manual work while women and girls clean. In the social hierarchy, women are considered lower than men. However, gender is a construct. There are lots of people around the world who challenge the ideas of what gender means and how it’s expressed. Thailand is particularly well known for people who challenge traditional notions of gender identity and expression.
Perhaps one of the things that Thailand is most known for, or at least infamous for, is what Thai people have translated as ladyboy. The Thai word most commonly used is kathoey, which can be derogatory. Formally, they are known as a person of the third gender.
Ladyboys are people who were assigned male sex at birth but present and take on traditionally feminine characteristics. They may have surgeries and take hormones and fall into the English category of transgender. They may not have surgery and just dress and act more feminine and take on feminine speech patterns. Pronouns in Thai are gender neutral, but there are articles used at the end of sentences that are specific to the gender of the speaker. In general, it is not something that is just for performances, it is the way that they live their life. They are not drag queens, although many do perform in cabaret-type shows as their job.
It is understood throughout Thailand that there are people like this. From my observations, and observations of other volunteers and friends, they are tolerated as a part of society but not quite accepted. In general, kathoey do not hold positions that are highly respected. They are generally relegated to jobs in the entertainment or service industries.
In my experiences in Thailand and with Thai people, it is clear that they are not as respected as others, often with sentences being appended with a whispered, “but he’s a kathoey.” I do know someone who is in a higher status occupation, she has requested I use feminine pronouns and titles such as “aunt.” But, because I only know her in a professional sense, she still wears the masculine uniform and wears more masculine clothes. It is often a source of giggles the fact that she carries a sticky rice basket as a purse and wears lipstick.
There is a female equivalent and they are called tom. They will typically wear their hair short and drink alcohol a lot and generally inhabit the role that men in Thai society do. When I have asked if there are tom that have surgeries or want to become a man, I’m looked at with surprise and I’m told it is not possible for women to become men.
The deeper layer to this is that there isn’t traditionally a concept of gay in Thai culture. Two masculine men or two feminine women being together is not understood in a Thai context. It’s understood that it happens among Westerners, as Thailand tourism actively markets to gay men, but for same sex attraction to be expressed in Thailand, one person must be a kathoey or a tom.
While ladyboys and toms may challenge traditional beliefs about gender identity and expression, they don’t actually challenge the traditional gender roles in Thailand. Ladyboys are considered women, for all intents and purposes, in Thai society. Toms are considered men. They are then held to the gendered expectations of their gender expression. So while Thailand may seem fairly progressive in some ways, there are still strides to be made.
Lina Marie November 15, 2013
Thanks again for writing about this topic. I find it really interesting how they view sexuality and gender. I know you mentioned that while transgender/transsexual individuals are “tolerated”, they are not necessarily “accepted”, so I’m curious to know whether there are any legal protections in place for this population (i.e. equal opportunity employment, hate crimes, etc)?
Christine November 18, 2013
I’m going to do a bit more research into that and get back to you. My guess is that no, there aren’t any classifications of “hate crimes” either in regards to gender identity or any other protected class that we would have in the States. But, I’m going to look into it some more.
Christine November 28, 2013
I haven’t found much by way of legislation about hate crimes in Thailand. But I did find this article which talks about the push for such protections across the region:
http://www.autostraddle.com/the-whole-world-can-learn-something-from-southeast-gaysia-and-the-asean-sogie-caucus-203484/
Lina Marie November 29, 2013
Thanks to the link to the article! I was very surprised to find that “[. . .] there have been more than 164 LGBT killings in the Philippines since they started monitoring media reports in 2009”. I think it’s great that the ASEAN SOGIE Caucas is so involved with these issues. I also found that it really interesting that they changed their language from the use of LGBTQ to SOGIE, in order to promote inclusivity and to lessen the sense of oppression. Especially as a social worker when working with patients/clients, I’m also trying to educate myself on ways in which I can be even more gender/identity neutral, particularly with my language, forms, etc. Their change in this language makes perfect sense, since microaggressions are often things we don’t even realize that are happening, and very often occur unintentionally through our language or unconscious actions.
Tananchon January 7, 2015
I have come across your piece on gender roles in Thailand while doing some research, and I have to say that it’s very informative. You did observe well while serving as a volunteer.
I just have one point to comment on which you probably misinterpreted or misunderstood about the concept of “gay” – two men and women living together – in Thailand that does not exist. It fact, it does. In many cities across the country, there are gay couples (men and women) who live together, and are not perceived as Gratheoy or Tom but “gay” or “lesbian”.
It is very common today among many Thais to ask (in Thai) if a person is gay or not by using one Thai helping verb – pen. For instance, if you’re curious if one guy is gay or not, you can just simply ask – “Pen mai? Or “Pen pa?” which means “Is he (gay)?”
Anyway, thank you for sharing this.
PS. I’m an LIF of Peace Corps Thailand.
Christine January 8, 2015
Thank you for this. I think it is important to point out, though, that as you said that is something that is pretty contained within the cities. I have a female same-sex couple that lives together in my village and have been repeatedly warned to stay away from them and they are kind of ostracized. I don’t think that is something that is common or accepted in rural Thailand, based on what I’ve seen in my village and what other Peace Corps volunteers have experienced. Many people outside of Thailand tend to equate Thai culture to the things that happen in Bangkok or Phuket and how things happen there just isn’t my experience with Thai culture. However, it is nice to know that there is some growth of acceptance in the cities.
Brettany Renée Blatchley November 6, 2016
Thank You for this article, and another one you wrote that spoke of Thai gender roles especially where women are concerned.
What brought me here is that I am a transsexual woman living in America with my cisfemale spouse and we have a male Thai foreign exchange student, and I was curious as to what his gender expectations of our household might be. Interestingly, by your article, I seem to be taking the role of the youngest female: though we have always been very egalitarian in our 27 year marriage, I am significantly more feminine, a bit younger and far more domestic than my spouse. At the same time, I am often her caregiver, and I am the breadwinner. People sense that we are closely related because of our mutual tender regard, but their first impression is that I am her adult daughter, or else I am her younger sister. (We most always explain our precise relationship: that we are a transgender married couple, where I am the trans woman.)
Our student and his family knew that I am transgender and felt that was okay, when the student agency made a diplomatic placement with us (we have special State Department diplomatic status), and then we learned that he and his family know several “transgender” people (I am assuming they are kathoey). I’m not sure how they see me (whether as a woman, a man or third gender), but in our culture, I am virtually always recognized as a woman without question.
Anyway, I thought I would share this little twist on the post you’ve presented here. It’s a small world, and it’s amazing how these things can be relevant to far-flung parts of the world.
Christine November 6, 2016
Wow, thank you for sharing your story! I’m glad that you’ve found my posts helpful.
I will say that since I first moved to Thailand to now, I think there has even been some changes in some perceptions of LGBTQ people, particularly with the proliferation of media with characters representing them. It’s been interesting to watch and experience.
I hope you have a wholly possible positive expeience hosting the exchange student and that you are able to learn a lot from each other.
Brettany Renée Blatchley November 6, 2016
Thank You! 🙂
He is our second Thai student of eleven through the years. He and his family seem to be very fond of us, expressing affection for us beyond what we understand to be normal for Thai people. At the same time, my spouse and I have made significant sacrifices for this family and their child, and we readily express tender regard for others (we askes this family first if they are okay with that, which they seem to be).
I have long wished to visit Thailand, and now I am interested in completing my gender confirming surgery there.
Thank you again for your articles and reply!
Blessings & Joy!!